Wednesday 10-12-2008 11.25pm
It's been more than a year since I got to know you.......fr seeing u at the MRT Station during the salsa trial class to becoming classmate and dancing with you.......all these have left a lasting memory in me.......fr a strangers to a person who I love and will think about everyday......I will never forget the memories we shared in class......our passion for salsa dancing......the comforting words you will say to me each time I get nervous about a certain dance step.......yr presence certainly makes dancing more enjoyable...........then u got posted overseas........and that was when our contacts got lesser and lesser.........or isit what I have said to u? But I was jus trying to get my feelings known to u......maybe I shouldn't have.....maybe I should jus keep it to myself.....could that have been better?I LOVE you and I REALLY do.......is that wrong? Now I am trying to live with this pain........this pain that's gonna stay in my heart no matter what I am going to do or say.....nothing is gonna change the situation I guess......this is the pain that one can feel truly when one has true deep feelings for the other party..........love hurts...........I learn to let go but each time I always failed......jus when I think I am starting to feel numb the feeling will come back stronger than what I expected........is this what I am going to live with for the rest of my life......I need someone to come save me out of this situation......but who can.........maybe someone who my love for him will be stronger than what I have towards you.......but where is this him............I am tired...........very tired and confused each time I think abt this.......they say time will heal all wounds but what abt the scars..............
Wednesday, 10 December 2008
Thursday, 23 October 2008
vocal cord nodules
Thursday 23-10-2008 8.25pm
I went to a ENT specialist @ Mount Elizabeth Hospital last Sat. My ENT specialist who is an expert in voice disorder, diagnosed me with vocal cord nodules.
What are vocal cord nodules?
Vocal cord nodules are callous-like bumps on the vocal cords. They can form on one or both of the cords. They usually are located on the front 1/3 of the vocal cord, and range in size from a pinhead to a split pea. During normal speech, the vocal cords should press firmly together. However, if nodules are present the cords cannot close completely. Therefore, extra air escapes and the voice sounds hoarse and breathy as a result.
What causes vocal cord nodules?
Any one or more of the following can contribute to the development of vocal cord nodules:
1) Misuse of the voice
The use of an incorrect pitch, volume, or quality
Inadequate breath support
Excessive tension in the neck muscles when speaking
2) Abuse of the voice
Excessive shouting, screaming cheering or crying
Strained vocalizations (for example, sounds used to imitate animal noises or motors)
Excessive loud talking
Hard vocal attacks (starting words abruptly)
Excessive coughing or throat clearing
3) Other factors
Chronic (long standing) upper respiratory infections or allergies
Exposure to smoking
Reflux (stomach acid coming up the swallowing tube)
Endocrine or Hormonal imbalance
Fatigue
Allergies
Personality or general adjustment of the person
How do vocal cord nodules develop?
Vocal abuse and misuse cause the vocal cords to close with excessive force (i.e. bang together). This may result in the formation of vocal nodules at the point of maximum contact. As the nodules begin to form, a slight reddening can be noted on the margin of the cord. This reddening is soon followed by a localized swelling or thickening on the edge of the cord. Finally, a definite nodule or bump develops and becomes harder and more fibrotic with time, just like a callous can form on your hand if you use a shovel without gloves.
Thus I had to go for voice therapy during the sch holidays. I hope that will help and I really wish that my voice will be back to it's original form soon but at the rate that the children behave.....haiz....I think my voice will only get worst........trying not to shout in class but YES!!!! it is very difficult........kids are really naughty rascals...............and they DO NOT LISTEN!!! Occupational Hazard.............it really is as according to the doctor is a common problem in teachers.........haiz.......this is what I get in return for my passion...............What can I do..............the doctor says for this problem to heal, other than the therapy class, a lot depends on the patient themselves.
Oh yes, my DPT course is starting soon.....looking forward to it but at the same time a bit worried about coping with work and course.........just can only say I will do my best and take one step at a time.
I went to a ENT specialist @ Mount Elizabeth Hospital last Sat. My ENT specialist who is an expert in voice disorder, diagnosed me with vocal cord nodules.
What are vocal cord nodules?
Vocal cord nodules are callous-like bumps on the vocal cords. They can form on one or both of the cords. They usually are located on the front 1/3 of the vocal cord, and range in size from a pinhead to a split pea. During normal speech, the vocal cords should press firmly together. However, if nodules are present the cords cannot close completely. Therefore, extra air escapes and the voice sounds hoarse and breathy as a result.
What causes vocal cord nodules?
Any one or more of the following can contribute to the development of vocal cord nodules:
1) Misuse of the voice
The use of an incorrect pitch, volume, or quality
Inadequate breath support
Excessive tension in the neck muscles when speaking
2) Abuse of the voice
Excessive shouting, screaming cheering or crying
Strained vocalizations (for example, sounds used to imitate animal noises or motors)
Excessive loud talking
Hard vocal attacks (starting words abruptly)
Excessive coughing or throat clearing
3) Other factors
Chronic (long standing) upper respiratory infections or allergies
Exposure to smoking
Reflux (stomach acid coming up the swallowing tube)
Endocrine or Hormonal imbalance
Fatigue
Allergies
Personality or general adjustment of the person
How do vocal cord nodules develop?
Vocal abuse and misuse cause the vocal cords to close with excessive force (i.e. bang together). This may result in the formation of vocal nodules at the point of maximum contact. As the nodules begin to form, a slight reddening can be noted on the margin of the cord. This reddening is soon followed by a localized swelling or thickening on the edge of the cord. Finally, a definite nodule or bump develops and becomes harder and more fibrotic with time, just like a callous can form on your hand if you use a shovel without gloves.
Thus I had to go for voice therapy during the sch holidays. I hope that will help and I really wish that my voice will be back to it's original form soon but at the rate that the children behave.....haiz....I think my voice will only get worst........trying not to shout in class but YES!!!! it is very difficult........kids are really naughty rascals...............and they DO NOT LISTEN!!! Occupational Hazard.............it really is as according to the doctor is a common problem in teachers.........haiz.......this is what I get in return for my passion...............What can I do..............the doctor says for this problem to heal, other than the therapy class, a lot depends on the patient themselves.
Oh yes, my DPT course is starting soon.....looking forward to it but at the same time a bit worried about coping with work and course.........just can only say I will do my best and take one step at a time.
Saturday, 27 September 2008
busy....
Saturday 27-9-2008 6.44pm
It's been coming two months since I started my new job at the Kindergarten. I love the new job and is slowly getting used to it but I really have a lot of things to learn on the job. Colleagues are great, very helpful and kind. Will be starting my Diploma course in November, very excited as this is going to be a big milestone in my life but at the same time I am afraid that I can't cope. I keep telling myself not to think too much and just do my very best. With all the support I believe I can do it =) I know my parents are going to be there for me no matter what and it is their wish to see me get a Diploma so I am going to try doubly hard. I will push on no matter what.
Oh Yes!!! so excited that F1 is in town.......but I can only catch the race from the TV......cos tickets are too expensive. The sound is enough to sent me screaming so excitedly.......haha....... Hooray to Singapore for hosting the first F1 nite race!
It's been coming two months since I started my new job at the Kindergarten. I love the new job and is slowly getting used to it but I really have a lot of things to learn on the job. Colleagues are great, very helpful and kind. Will be starting my Diploma course in November, very excited as this is going to be a big milestone in my life but at the same time I am afraid that I can't cope. I keep telling myself not to think too much and just do my very best. With all the support I believe I can do it =) I know my parents are going to be there for me no matter what and it is their wish to see me get a Diploma so I am going to try doubly hard. I will push on no matter what.
Oh Yes!!! so excited that F1 is in town.......but I can only catch the race from the TV......cos tickets are too expensive. The sound is enough to sent me screaming so excitedly.......haha....... Hooray to Singapore for hosting the first F1 nite race!
Tuesday, 22 July 2008
me dyscalculia?
Tuesday 22-7-2008 4.30pm
Dyscalculia - difficulty in learning or comprehending mathematics.
I suspect I am dyscalculia...........cos I can never understand Maths..........well but I don't have any thing to prove that I suffer from dyscalculia...........calculations always stress me out and I have been failing my Maths since Pri 4..........but whatever it is I jus got to be positive.
Dyscalculia - difficulty in learning or comprehending mathematics.
I suspect I am dyscalculia...........cos I can never understand Maths..........well but I don't have any thing to prove that I suffer from dyscalculia...........calculations always stress me out and I have been failing my Maths since Pri 4..........but whatever it is I jus got to be positive.
Friday, 4 July 2008
not again......
Friday 4-7-2008 2.36pm
I quit my job again........HAIZ.........not again I hav been telling myself that........but really I can't cope with the car dealer job despite all the help my colleagues have been giving me.........really appreciate their kindness and helpfulness but I really really can't cope.......OMG!!! 3 jobs within less than 6 mths.........felt so useless and depressed recently........moody and emotionally very unstable.........have been crying alot but I jus can't control my emotions..........and I have been eating alot..........And I really mean ALOT ALOT........which is really not me........maybe it's my way of letting out ba so if it does help me feel better then why not.............hope to find a better more suitable job soon.......Gd luck to me =)
I quit my job again........HAIZ.........not again I hav been telling myself that........but really I can't cope with the car dealer job despite all the help my colleagues have been giving me.........really appreciate their kindness and helpfulness but I really really can't cope.......OMG!!! 3 jobs within less than 6 mths.........felt so useless and depressed recently........moody and emotionally very unstable.........have been crying alot but I jus can't control my emotions..........and I have been eating alot..........And I really mean ALOT ALOT........which is really not me........maybe it's my way of letting out ba so if it does help me feel better then why not.............hope to find a better more suitable job soon.......Gd luck to me =)
Friday, 27 June 2008
stressed out wif my new job
Friday 27-06-2008 12.05am
I started my new job as a sales advisor dealing with cars which are my ultimate passion and interest......nevertheless, this new job turns out to be so stressful......lots of things to learn......and i mean complicated stuff not simple easy things that we are talking abt here......meantime.....I can only push on and learn as much as I can.......even though I am stressed.....still do not know if this is the rite job for me but I gonna push my limit and go on till the last minute........the hours are long and I can only get 1 off day per week on a weekday.........so my one and only off day become sooooo precious........haha so many things to do but so little time..........wanting to meet so many friends but soooo little time............
went out with steve yesterday to watch 'kungfu panda' movie...........super nice and cute movie.......then Claire join us for salsa refresher class.........I need to go back for more refresher class to brush up on my dance skills. We went to Dragonfly to destress after that but didnt stay till very late as we had to work the next day...............nevertheless I really enjoy that destressing clubbing session.............hope to return to DF again in the near future =)
I started my new job as a sales advisor dealing with cars which are my ultimate passion and interest......nevertheless, this new job turns out to be so stressful......lots of things to learn......and i mean complicated stuff not simple easy things that we are talking abt here......meantime.....I can only push on and learn as much as I can.......even though I am stressed.....still do not know if this is the rite job for me but I gonna push my limit and go on till the last minute........the hours are long and I can only get 1 off day per week on a weekday.........so my one and only off day become sooooo precious........haha so many things to do but so little time..........wanting to meet so many friends but soooo little time............
went out with steve yesterday to watch 'kungfu panda' movie...........super nice and cute movie.......then Claire join us for salsa refresher class.........I need to go back for more refresher class to brush up on my dance skills. We went to Dragonfly to destress after that but didnt stay till very late as we had to work the next day...............nevertheless I really enjoy that destressing clubbing session.............hope to return to DF again in the near future =)
Tuesday, 10 June 2008
a trip back to my ex workplace
Tuesday 10-6-2008 8.38pm
I went back to my ex workplace today. So glad to see my colleagues and the children =) was very surprised that most of them could still recognize me...haha........and my baobei was sleeping when I went to see her....haha so no choice lor....got to wake her up.......I heard from my colleague cum best friend that my baobei argue with her classmate today about me being her darling....so sweet of her....haha.....and I even heard that a parent asked about me.......and even said that it's a pity that I have quit......well talk about that.....over lunch with my boss today she ask whether I have the intention to go back......I told her I wanna try out the car sales job first......but never the less it's really nice of her to offer me the position again......despite me resigning the job 3 months ago. I have a phobia of kids at the moment......haha....yup really children......I had have enough of them........pls oh pls......haha....I need a break from them........REALLY!!!
I went back to my ex workplace today. So glad to see my colleagues and the children =) was very surprised that most of them could still recognize me...haha........and my baobei was sleeping when I went to see her....haha so no choice lor....got to wake her up.......I heard from my colleague cum best friend that my baobei argue with her classmate today about me being her darling....so sweet of her....haha.....and I even heard that a parent asked about me.......and even said that it's a pity that I have quit......well talk about that.....over lunch with my boss today she ask whether I have the intention to go back......I told her I wanna try out the car sales job first......but never the less it's really nice of her to offer me the position again......despite me resigning the job 3 months ago. I have a phobia of kids at the moment......haha....yup really children......I had have enough of them........pls oh pls......haha....I need a break from them........REALLY!!!
Monday, 9 June 2008
time out week for myself.......
Monday 9-6-2008 8.46pm
It's been sometime since I last blog. Have been busy with my work last few weeks but I have since quit. Thus this is a time out week for me......to rest to play to enjoy before I start on my new job......before I call my shifu....haha.......and most importantly this Friday is my special day....haha........went Vivo City today to shop but didn't manage to get any beautiful clothes......got 1 tube of hand cream fr body shop for my peeling fingers.....due to washing too much dishes fr the last job :( but anyway.....I also learn alot of new things fr my last job and get to meet new friends too =) Yeah!!! tomorrow can get to see my baobei liao.....miss her so much and heard that she has started to call me darling recently....=)) soooo sweet lor........Wed will go shopping with my sis @bugis hope to get more nice clothes :P haha......but once I start new job will not have time to go shopping with sis liao......so must enjoy............
I really enjoy myself today......rest and relax........I went to bakerzin for afternoon tea........it's nice when I do not have a care about the world.......sitting by the window alone enjoying the scenery.......daydreaming and sipping my favourite ice passion fruit tea......watching the world go by..........sounds great rite.......=) it really is...........life is meant to be enjoy.......but I start my busy life next week..............
having been arranging my thoughts recently........and thinking alot...........at this moment my career is still very unstable and I just tell myself that I gotto try my best and see how things go..........whether or not things can work out depends on alot of factors........and many things are not within my control........I jus got to try try and try.........since I am still young..........I don't want to wait till I am old then I regret.................I am really touched and glad that I have my Mum and Dad's support. They are my love in life now........jus wanna earn lots of money for them to enjoy life cos I love them alot alot so much that no words can describe.........all the best to me. Hope everything will turn out right =)
It's been sometime since I last blog. Have been busy with my work last few weeks but I have since quit. Thus this is a time out week for me......to rest to play to enjoy before I start on my new job......before I call my shifu....haha.......and most importantly this Friday is my special day....haha........went Vivo City today to shop but didn't manage to get any beautiful clothes......got 1 tube of hand cream fr body shop for my peeling fingers.....due to washing too much dishes fr the last job :( but anyway.....I also learn alot of new things fr my last job and get to meet new friends too =) Yeah!!! tomorrow can get to see my baobei liao.....miss her so much and heard that she has started to call me darling recently....=)) soooo sweet lor........Wed will go shopping with my sis @bugis hope to get more nice clothes :P haha......but once I start new job will not have time to go shopping with sis liao......so must enjoy............
I really enjoy myself today......rest and relax........I went to bakerzin for afternoon tea........it's nice when I do not have a care about the world.......sitting by the window alone enjoying the scenery.......daydreaming and sipping my favourite ice passion fruit tea......watching the world go by..........sounds great rite.......=) it really is...........life is meant to be enjoy.......but I start my busy life next week..............
having been arranging my thoughts recently........and thinking alot...........at this moment my career is still very unstable and I just tell myself that I gotto try my best and see how things go..........whether or not things can work out depends on alot of factors........and many things are not within my control........I jus got to try try and try.........since I am still young..........I don't want to wait till I am old then I regret.................I am really touched and glad that I have my Mum and Dad's support. They are my love in life now........jus wanna earn lots of money for them to enjoy life cos I love them alot alot so much that no words can describe.........all the best to me. Hope everything will turn out right =)
Monday, 26 May 2008
confused state of mind
Monday 26-5-2008 9.46pm
Have been very busy and tired ever since I started out on my new job as a Birthday Party Host.......it's been a week since I started this new job but I am still very confused as to whether this is the rite job for me......hectic man...... trying to be a birthday party host........lol.....but I enjoy being at the receptionist. Learning how to operate the cashier, welcoming the customer and doing fun patrols......
Thought of going into sales line........having been giving a good thought on what the person said to me when I went for interview that time......I should give it a try since I am still young. Since this has been what I wanted.......jus give it my best shot and a good try....at least I will not have any regret in life...........even if things don't turn out well....... at least I can say I have tried my best and not keep thinking.......of all the what ifs.........
Maybe a month........after which I will see how things goes............can't help but feel stress.........cos I dream again last nite that I went back to my old workplace to work again......which is not what I wanted.....twice already....the same dream...........isit I think too much or isit I am too stress.........whatever........I should learn to take things easy and take one step at a time............
Have been very busy and tired ever since I started out on my new job as a Birthday Party Host.......it's been a week since I started this new job but I am still very confused as to whether this is the rite job for me......hectic man...... trying to be a birthday party host........lol.....but I enjoy being at the receptionist. Learning how to operate the cashier, welcoming the customer and doing fun patrols......
Thought of going into sales line........having been giving a good thought on what the person said to me when I went for interview that time......I should give it a try since I am still young. Since this has been what I wanted.......jus give it my best shot and a good try....at least I will not have any regret in life...........even if things don't turn out well....... at least I can say I have tried my best and not keep thinking.......of all the what ifs.........
Maybe a month........after which I will see how things goes............can't help but feel stress.........cos I dream again last nite that I went back to my old workplace to work again......which is not what I wanted.....twice already....the same dream...........isit I think too much or isit I am too stress.........whatever........I should learn to take things easy and take one step at a time............
Friday, 9 May 2008
What should my next step be?
Friday 9-5-2008 9.27pm
I am so stressed..........but luckily I had a great destressing session @ St James (Dragonfly) last nite. Think partying, clubbing, drinking and drinking. Lol.....no a lot but a bit of whisky coke =)
Anyway I am kinda of confused =( cos I do not know if I should continue to try to find a job or I should go upgrade myself and further study.....maybe a diploma would be good. Let me do some planning first before I take my next step. Wish me good luck k ;)
Salsa intermediate 2A will be starting tomorrow but I still can't make up my mind whether to take up this course or not............Arrrrggggg so much things on my mind at the moment........
I am so stressed..........but luckily I had a great destressing session @ St James (Dragonfly) last nite. Think partying, clubbing, drinking and drinking. Lol.....no a lot but a bit of whisky coke =)
Anyway I am kinda of confused =( cos I do not know if I should continue to try to find a job or I should go upgrade myself and further study.....maybe a diploma would be good. Let me do some planning first before I take my next step. Wish me good luck k ;)
Salsa intermediate 2A will be starting tomorrow but I still can't make up my mind whether to take up this course or not............Arrrrggggg so much things on my mind at the moment........
Wednesday, 7 May 2008
sian.....
Wednesday 7-5-2008 9.31pm
Hav been busy looking for jobs recently. Went for interview at few different company. eventually tried the admin position but didn't like it, quit after 2 days but still got to pay one day salary on top of working FOC........but no choice....cos my partner or so call boss.....very bad temper......haiz.....then today went for another interview but the job is not my type lor.......lots of calculation and statistic reports to do.....think i will go crazy.........lol................although dishearten but will continue to find.......I will not give up........
Hav been busy looking for jobs recently. Went for interview at few different company. eventually tried the admin position but didn't like it, quit after 2 days but still got to pay one day salary on top of working FOC........but no choice....cos my partner or so call boss.....very bad temper......haiz.....then today went for another interview but the job is not my type lor.......lots of calculation and statistic reports to do.....think i will go crazy.........lol................although dishearten but will continue to find.......I will not give up........
Saturday, 12 April 2008
What's life without love, passion and dreams...
Saturday 12-4-2008 10.27pm
I should cling on to my passion and dreams no matter what obstacles come my ways...........
Time flies, it's been coming one and a half months since i last quit my job. I have yet to find a new job but I am sure I gonna find one good one soon =) still waiting for zoo to reply though...1 more week....I really hate to study and people around me having been asking me the same question, 'have you though of furthering yr studies'? but Singapore society is so s*** why must people be judge upon their qualifications ? so what if you have high qualifications but yr character sucks....haiz.....but yesterday I started thinking if I really have to take up a diploma course or degree course, what would it be? The answer would be Zoology. Cos this will always be my passion as I have always wanted to work in the zoo =) I love animals and I love the zoo!!!! If I really can't work in the zoo then I will volunteer as a zookeeper.
Daddy says if i want to study then i should be realisetic and go for somthing that can get me a good job......haiz so zoology seems out of the picture, worst still........zoology courses is not available in Singapore.........in the mean time let's hope that the zoo will really reply soon...
I should cling on to my passion and dreams no matter what obstacles come my ways...........
Time flies, it's been coming one and a half months since i last quit my job. I have yet to find a new job but I am sure I gonna find one good one soon =) still waiting for zoo to reply though...1 more week....I really hate to study and people around me having been asking me the same question, 'have you though of furthering yr studies'? but Singapore society is so s*** why must people be judge upon their qualifications ? so what if you have high qualifications but yr character sucks....haiz.....but yesterday I started thinking if I really have to take up a diploma course or degree course, what would it be? The answer would be Zoology. Cos this will always be my passion as I have always wanted to work in the zoo =) I love animals and I love the zoo!!!! If I really can't work in the zoo then I will volunteer as a zookeeper.
Daddy says if i want to study then i should be realisetic and go for somthing that can get me a good job......haiz so zoology seems out of the picture, worst still........zoology courses is not available in Singapore.........in the mean time let's hope that the zoo will really reply soon...
Friday, 28 March 2008
guilty......guilty......
Friday 28-3-2008 8.34pm
Oh dear! That's what I am feeling now........I have yet to find a new job but I have been spending =P Went shopping with my best friend yesterday. Bought a bag from tomato can...........luckily there's discount cos the usual price is $39.90 but I got it @ $29.90 as there's some promotion going on and I am a member too so additional discount.......haha...what a way to console myself. I also bought a white off shoulder top from M)phosis.
Meet up with my ex-colleages jus now for tea, really had a good chat and again I saw something nice from double index.......a white top =) so something additional to my wardrobe =)
Has been thinking about him.........something which I shouldn't be............soo guilty. Think I got to let go no matter what...........but we can always be best of friends...........
Will be going to my best friend's Birthday celebration tomorrow =) after my salsa class. Yeah!!! finally can start Intermediate 2B class tomorrow........but I am worried that I can't cope cos I still need more practice and I gotta improve on my frame (framework).
Oh dear! That's what I am feeling now........I have yet to find a new job but I have been spending =P Went shopping with my best friend yesterday. Bought a bag from tomato can...........luckily there's discount cos the usual price is $39.90 but I got it @ $29.90 as there's some promotion going on and I am a member too so additional discount.......haha...what a way to console myself. I also bought a white off shoulder top from M)phosis.
Meet up with my ex-colleages jus now for tea, really had a good chat and again I saw something nice from double index.......a white top =) so something additional to my wardrobe =)
Has been thinking about him.........something which I shouldn't be............soo guilty. Think I got to let go no matter what...........but we can always be best of friends...........
Will be going to my best friend's Birthday celebration tomorrow =) after my salsa class. Yeah!!! finally can start Intermediate 2B class tomorrow........but I am worried that I can't cope cos I still need more practice and I gotta improve on my frame (framework).
Saturday, 22 March 2008
sad......but what can i do
Saturday 22-3-2008 2.29pm
Went to the Goddess of Mercy temple @ waterloo street yesterday and I ask my mum to help me get a lot regarding us..........this was what it was written on the paper................
A dangerous journey undertaken, The road is caked with mud and you are trying to scale a slippery mountain....................
After reading the lot, my mum help me burn it away cos we believe that if the lot's a bad one we don't keep it. That was when reality hit me.............hard.......really hard.........it's really impossible between us now after reading what's written on the lot........it just won't work out between us.......after loving him all these months, and i really got to admit that, i still love him but i know that i really got to learn to let go..........something that's hard to do, something that's impossible but i am not given a choice.......i jus got to do it, maybe crying will help but at this moment i do not know what to do, can somebody pls help.........jus feel like crying maybe i will feel better but tears jus refused to flow...............i wanna forced myself to cry........maybe it will help me feel better..............i jus gonna learn to let go.............maybe time will heal all wounds..................
Went to the Goddess of Mercy temple @ waterloo street yesterday and I ask my mum to help me get a lot regarding us..........this was what it was written on the paper................
A dangerous journey undertaken, The road is caked with mud and you are trying to scale a slippery mountain....................
After reading the lot, my mum help me burn it away cos we believe that if the lot's a bad one we don't keep it. That was when reality hit me.............hard.......really hard.........it's really impossible between us now after reading what's written on the lot........it just won't work out between us.......after loving him all these months, and i really got to admit that, i still love him but i know that i really got to learn to let go..........something that's hard to do, something that's impossible but i am not given a choice.......i jus got to do it, maybe crying will help but at this moment i do not know what to do, can somebody pls help.........jus feel like crying maybe i will feel better but tears jus refused to flow...............i wanna forced myself to cry........maybe it will help me feel better..............i jus gonna learn to let go.............maybe time will heal all wounds..................
Tuesday, 18 March 2008
lunch with Grandpa
Tuesday 18-3-2008 3.55pm
I jus came back home after acompanying my Grandpa to the chinese doctor. After that we had lunch at the hawker centre before heading back home. I love the lunch part cos it's been a long time since I last had a meal alone with my Grandpa. It brings me down my memory lane when I was young, Grandpa would always bring us to the coffeeshop for tea and then he would buy me and my brother toys........those were the days. These are the memories I will always keep in my heart =)
Sent my resume to the Zoo yesterday........I gonna pray hard that I am selected to go for the interview cos I really like this job, and I hope to work in the zoo. It's so boring to slack at home. Luckily I bought lots of books from Page One, Times and Kinokuniya to read at home.......haha I have become a bookworm..........lol..........wish me luck k.........really wish the zoo will give me a reply soon.
I jus came back home after acompanying my Grandpa to the chinese doctor. After that we had lunch at the hawker centre before heading back home. I love the lunch part cos it's been a long time since I last had a meal alone with my Grandpa. It brings me down my memory lane when I was young, Grandpa would always bring us to the coffeeshop for tea and then he would buy me and my brother toys........those were the days. These are the memories I will always keep in my heart =)
Sent my resume to the Zoo yesterday........I gonna pray hard that I am selected to go for the interview cos I really like this job, and I hope to work in the zoo. It's so boring to slack at home. Luckily I bought lots of books from Page One, Times and Kinokuniya to read at home.......haha I have become a bookworm..........lol..........wish me luck k.........really wish the zoo will give me a reply soon.
Monday, 17 March 2008
event @upper club CHIJMES and a visit to my ex company
Monday 17-3-2008 7.30pm
The En La Pasion Event @ Upper Club CHIJMES was great. Especially the Bachata competition and the performance by SOL =) was so tired the next day cos we only reach home @ 4.30am in the morning.......haha.............got to meet many people and practice my Salsa Dancing...........
Went back to visit my colleagues and the children today. The children were very excited and happy to see me =) I am Happy to see them too especially Erica. Trust them to hide her in the office....haha.....I still managed to find her in the end =P My K1 class is still as naughty as ever....haha....those being punish still can wave and smile at me when they saw me.........haha dun know to be happy or sad.......haha.....kids are still kids...........miss them lots =)
The En La Pasion Event @ Upper Club CHIJMES was great. Especially the Bachata competition and the performance by SOL =) was so tired the next day cos we only reach home @ 4.30am in the morning.......haha.............got to meet many people and practice my Salsa Dancing...........
Went back to visit my colleagues and the children today. The children were very excited and happy to see me =) I am Happy to see them too especially Erica. Trust them to hide her in the office....haha.....I still managed to find her in the end =P My K1 class is still as naughty as ever....haha....those being punish still can wave and smile at me when they saw me.........haha dun know to be happy or sad.......haha.....kids are still kids...........miss them lots =)
Thursday, 13 March 2008
Nite out @ Dragonfly
Thursday 13-3-2008 12.32pm
I went for a wonderful dinner with Claire and her colleagues yesterday, after that we went dragonfly for clubbing. It was a wonderful nite out but the crowd at dragonfly seem to get bigger as the time goes later........we only went back about 3 plus in the morning...........
I went for a wonderful dinner with Claire and her colleagues yesterday, after that we went dragonfly for clubbing. It was a wonderful nite out but the crowd at dragonfly seem to get bigger as the time goes later........we only went back about 3 plus in the morning...........
Saturday, 8 March 2008
Thailand Trip 050308------070308
Saturday 08-03-2008 9.12pm
Jus came back from Thailand (Bangkok) yesterday =) wonderful experience.....although I find the trip too short :P The weather 's very hot there and I love shopping. Their shopping mall (central world) is nice and big but too bad the things there are kinda of expensive. Things at the night market are cheap as bargaining is allowed. I saw something at the night market that left a deep impression on me.......a cute baby elephant who goes round with it's master (who holds packet of food on his hands so that tourist can buy and feed this cute elephant) at the night market. This little elephant is sooo obedient when it's master make it stand by the roadside to wait for tourist, it does not move about but quitly stand there and wait. I look at this baby elephant and I can really feel for it.......it belongs to the wild not the city........poor thing why must they do that to the poor elephant (make it adapt to urban life).......how I wish I can save this baby elephant and send it back to where it belongs.....the wild. We took the tuk-tuk in Thailand and I would say, it's an amazing transportation........fast and special. Overall, it's a nice trip and I hope to retuirn there again in the near future =)
Jus came back from Thailand (Bangkok) yesterday =) wonderful experience.....although I find the trip too short :P The weather 's very hot there and I love shopping. Their shopping mall (central world) is nice and big but too bad the things there are kinda of expensive. Things at the night market are cheap as bargaining is allowed. I saw something at the night market that left a deep impression on me.......a cute baby elephant who goes round with it's master (who holds packet of food on his hands so that tourist can buy and feed this cute elephant) at the night market. This little elephant is sooo obedient when it's master make it stand by the roadside to wait for tourist, it does not move about but quitly stand there and wait. I look at this baby elephant and I can really feel for it.......it belongs to the wild not the city........poor thing why must they do that to the poor elephant (make it adapt to urban life).......how I wish I can save this baby elephant and send it back to where it belongs.....the wild. We took the tuk-tuk in Thailand and I would say, it's an amazing transportation........fast and special. Overall, it's a nice trip and I hope to retuirn there again in the near future =)
Sunday, 2 March 2008
life after I resigned......
Sunday 2-3-2008 1.35pm
Finally after 6 years of busy working life, I have the time to slow down my footsteps and smell the roses, appreciate the people and the little and big things in life =) but somehow, after getting used to being busy with work, lesson plans , portfolios, preparing worksheets, doing research, planning and etc suddenly I feel so free........yes! FREE is the word but I don't know why, I feel a bit lost too........is this feeling normal???
Got so much present from my Boss and colleagues on Friday 29-2-2008 (such a special date) and of course their touching cards, heartwarming words and cuddy hugz. Will miss them very much. My boss gave me a Gap Bag, my best friend cum colleague gave me a bangle, Seah gave me a pooh bear scaf and a few of them together with the two aunties bought me a perlini silver necklace =) wanna say a big thank you to all of them my dear colleagues, thks for taking good care of me and always been so helpful and encouraging all of you such such a dear to be with. Although I do not know if I m able to get such a nice team of colleagues to work with for my next job but the smiles and laughter will always stay in my heart =) all the best to all of you too =) and hope we can meet up regularly for tea and coffee
Jus hope that my holiday plan can proceed.......Please!!!Oh please! I have never been on an aeroplane before and I really hope to take the aeroplane to a nice destination for a nice wonderful and relaxing holiday =)) is that too much to ask for??
Went Salsa class yesterday, Aiyo after the break(abt 1 mth i guess), I have forgotten how to dance....lol.....really......haiz.......kena 'knock on the head' and 'hand kena hit by my instructor........Oh no I beeter buck up.....gotta put in more effort and I must not be lazy......Jia You!!!Jia You!!!Have to go for class whenever I am free to brush up on my Salsa Dancing =)
Finally after 6 years of busy working life, I have the time to slow down my footsteps and smell the roses, appreciate the people and the little and big things in life =) but somehow, after getting used to being busy with work, lesson plans , portfolios, preparing worksheets, doing research, planning and etc suddenly I feel so free........yes! FREE is the word but I don't know why, I feel a bit lost too........is this feeling normal???
Got so much present from my Boss and colleagues on Friday 29-2-2008 (such a special date) and of course their touching cards, heartwarming words and cuddy hugz. Will miss them very much. My boss gave me a Gap Bag, my best friend cum colleague gave me a bangle, Seah gave me a pooh bear scaf and a few of them together with the two aunties bought me a perlini silver necklace =) wanna say a big thank you to all of them my dear colleagues, thks for taking good care of me and always been so helpful and encouraging all of you such such a dear to be with. Although I do not know if I m able to get such a nice team of colleagues to work with for my next job but the smiles and laughter will always stay in my heart =) all the best to all of you too =) and hope we can meet up regularly for tea and coffee
Jus hope that my holiday plan can proceed.......Please!!!Oh please! I have never been on an aeroplane before and I really hope to take the aeroplane to a nice destination for a nice wonderful and relaxing holiday =)) is that too much to ask for??
Went Salsa class yesterday, Aiyo after the break(abt 1 mth i guess), I have forgotten how to dance....lol.....really......haiz.......kena 'knock on the head' and 'hand kena hit by my instructor........Oh no I beeter buck up.....gotta put in more effort and I must not be lazy......Jia You!!!Jia You!!!Have to go for class whenever I am free to brush up on my Salsa Dancing =)
Monday, 25 February 2008
Was so glad yesterday =)
Monday 25-2-2008 8.34pm
I was so glad yesterday. Finally got to chat with you and it was quite a long chat, we talk about our life, music (so glad u ask me to send u more songs after the spot check...lol) and of course salsa. I really can't wait to dance salsa with you when you are back in june. In the mean time I really gonna buck up on my dance......lol......cos you said i got to teach you when you are back =) hee......show you en en photos and you thought that was me when I am young.....hahaha and you too agreed that she's cute.......next time must show you Rinny's photo liao.....keke.......really miss you alot.......being able to chat with you like a friend is really enough to make me so happy =)
Last work week at my current company after 6 years (time flies)..........my K1 class is still as naughty and playful........haiz.........will miss all my wonderful colleagues and my very nice boss. Most importantly gonna miss my Erica baobei, Rinny, Dennis (and the secret that we share...lol) must treasure my last week here at my current company and the time spend with my baobeis........lol.....oh yes! En even ask me 'why' when i told her next week she's not going to see me liao.....sob....sob.......will miss her a lot a lot.
I was so glad yesterday. Finally got to chat with you and it was quite a long chat, we talk about our life, music (so glad u ask me to send u more songs after the spot check...lol) and of course salsa. I really can't wait to dance salsa with you when you are back in june. In the mean time I really gonna buck up on my dance......lol......cos you said i got to teach you when you are back =) hee......show you en en photos and you thought that was me when I am young.....hahaha and you too agreed that she's cute.......next time must show you Rinny's photo liao.....keke.......really miss you alot.......being able to chat with you like a friend is really enough to make me so happy =)
Last work week at my current company after 6 years (time flies)..........my K1 class is still as naughty and playful........haiz.........will miss all my wonderful colleagues and my very nice boss. Most importantly gonna miss my Erica baobei, Rinny, Dennis (and the secret that we share...lol) must treasure my last week here at my current company and the time spend with my baobeis........lol.....oh yes! En even ask me 'why' when i told her next week she's not going to see me liao.....sob....sob.......will miss her a lot a lot.
Sunday, 24 February 2008
I hate tis kind of feeling........
Sunday 24-2-2008 4.26pm
I hate this kind of feeling. are you avoiding me or are you really busy? Tears are flowing non-stop in my heart, and the pain is unbearable. Why do you have to make me feel this way. I love you yet hate you at the same time.....why do I have to suffer this kind of mental torture? I hate myself, why can't I understand you. My love for you is true......really but............I kept questioning myself.....is this all... a one sided affair on my part or are you avoiding the true? I do not have the answers to all this questions either do i think you will answer them. Sometimes I jus can't find the strength to move on cos love really hurts and I am soo scared. So many people are telling me to give up and move on..... but I can't....some say wait till he is back but I jus can't wait.......call me impatient or call me stupid..... but the goody me who do not know how to drink really wants to have a drinking session with my friends soon cos I jus wanna get drunk and not think anymore.......I know it's stupid of me and my cousin scolded me.........she says that it's not worth to do this over a guy.......what for....even if i am drunk, he is not there to see......neither does he knows.........but I jus do not know what to do........
I hate this kind of feeling. are you avoiding me or are you really busy? Tears are flowing non-stop in my heart, and the pain is unbearable. Why do you have to make me feel this way. I love you yet hate you at the same time.....why do I have to suffer this kind of mental torture? I hate myself, why can't I understand you. My love for you is true......really but............I kept questioning myself.....is this all... a one sided affair on my part or are you avoiding the true? I do not have the answers to all this questions either do i think you will answer them. Sometimes I jus can't find the strength to move on cos love really hurts and I am soo scared. So many people are telling me to give up and move on..... but I can't....some say wait till he is back but I jus can't wait.......call me impatient or call me stupid..... but the goody me who do not know how to drink really wants to have a drinking session with my friends soon cos I jus wanna get drunk and not think anymore.......I know it's stupid of me and my cousin scolded me.........she says that it's not worth to do this over a guy.......what for....even if i am drunk, he is not there to see......neither does he knows.........but I jus do not know what to do........
Thursday, 24 January 2008
I tendered my resignation........
Thursday 24-1-2008 11.32pm.
I will hand in the letter tomorrow. I didn't know it needs such a great deal of courage. After more than 5 years in the company, (to be accurate it's actually it's 5 years and 10 months ) there a bond there. Just like a relationship. You will feel sad when it's time to let go but it really is time........to go out to see the world and pursue other interests and dreams........if not for the support that my family and friends have given me I would not have been able to do that. Jus wanna let them know that I really appreciate all their support that they have given me. Thank You =)
I am just so afraid that I might hug Rinny and Erica, my two baobei and cry on the last day of work......I know that I really will miss them very very much. I must be strong. I must believe in myself.
I will hand in the letter tomorrow. I didn't know it needs such a great deal of courage. After more than 5 years in the company, (to be accurate it's actually it's 5 years and 10 months ) there a bond there. Just like a relationship. You will feel sad when it's time to let go but it really is time........to go out to see the world and pursue other interests and dreams........if not for the support that my family and friends have given me I would not have been able to do that. Jus wanna let them know that I really appreciate all their support that they have given me. Thank You =)
I am just so afraid that I might hug Rinny and Erica, my two baobei and cry on the last day of work......I know that I really will miss them very very much. I must be strong. I must believe in myself.
Monday, 21 January 2008
it's Monday again
Monday 21-1-2008 11.41pm
It's Monday again.....start of a long week....gonna work this Saturday.........so I can't party till late this coming Friday.......so sad :( but I am looking forward to the Shopping trip this Saturday with my best best friend =)
Rebonded my hair on Saturday.........took the whole afternoon but it was worth the wait cos I really love my hair to be neat and pretty although it cost a bomb $178 plus the bottle of hair conditioner. I really can't wait for Chinese New Year to come. Oh Yes, I saw a nice pink Cheongsam @ This Fashion......think I will get it to wear for Chinese New Year.
Talk to my Boss today about quitting my job.....aiya.....very confused.......will talk to her again tomorrow.
It's Monday again.....start of a long week....gonna work this Saturday.........so I can't party till late this coming Friday.......so sad :( but I am looking forward to the Shopping trip this Saturday with my best best friend =)
Rebonded my hair on Saturday.........took the whole afternoon but it was worth the wait cos I really love my hair to be neat and pretty although it cost a bomb $178 plus the bottle of hair conditioner. I really can't wait for Chinese New Year to come. Oh Yes, I saw a nice pink Cheongsam @ This Fashion......think I will get it to wear for Chinese New Year.
Talk to my Boss today about quitting my job.....aiya.....very confused.......will talk to her again tomorrow.
Monday, 14 January 2008
new hairstyle plus shopping and more shopping...
Monday 14-1-2008 10.17pm
I went to the hair salon to cut my hair on Saturday. New hairstyle =) but I missed my long long hair...As my hair is about shoulder length now with lots of layer, I loose all my rebonded locks...thus I actually thought of rebonding my hair again, maybe this coming Saturday...before Chinese New Year so that I can have my long beautiful tresses again for this coming festival...
Went shopping after my salsa class to get my sis's pink skirt from Mango (went 3 different outlet before I finally got it from the Ngee Ann City outlet) and my beautiful short dress from Blossom @ Far East Plaza. Sunday nite was spent shopping @ Far East Plaza again with my best best friend, got a black dress and a black spaghetti top. Can't wait for the next shopping trip to come again :P
I went to the hair salon to cut my hair on Saturday. New hairstyle =) but I missed my long long hair...As my hair is about shoulder length now with lots of layer, I loose all my rebonded locks...thus I actually thought of rebonding my hair again, maybe this coming Saturday...before Chinese New Year so that I can have my long beautiful tresses again for this coming festival...
Went shopping after my salsa class to get my sis's pink skirt from Mango (went 3 different outlet before I finally got it from the Ngee Ann City outlet) and my beautiful short dress from Blossom @ Far East Plaza. Sunday nite was spent shopping @ Far East Plaza again with my best best friend, got a black dress and a black spaghetti top. Can't wait for the next shopping trip to come again :P
Thursday, 10 January 2008
I have made up my mind
Thursday 10-1-2008 12.01am
I should be in my bed sleeping at this time.......but somehow, after a hard day's work, here I am in front of the PC slogging away. Well sad to say but..........I have made up my mind..........and it's final. Thus there are tonnes of work to clear. Anyway there are many incidents that happened recently and it's putting me off :( I jus dun understand why...........was talking to Nisha on the phone jus now......really appreciate all the support that she has given me all these while =) I must be strong......I must not be scared.......no matter what comes in my way I must be brave and believe in myself. I can do it!!!
Went shopping with my sister on Tuesday and she treat me to yummy sushi after getting her first pay.......haha....greedy me........ ;p we didnt get any thing but I made two pairs of specs after trying on numerous pairs...haha...in the end I even had to apologize to the person.......thks for her patience cos she kept taking all the specs in the shop to let me try...and my sister for patiently waiting for me...haha...even though I know she does not like to wait......lol.......can't wait for my specs to be ready.............
I should be in my bed sleeping at this time.......but somehow, after a hard day's work, here I am in front of the PC slogging away. Well sad to say but..........I have made up my mind..........and it's final. Thus there are tonnes of work to clear. Anyway there are many incidents that happened recently and it's putting me off :( I jus dun understand why...........was talking to Nisha on the phone jus now......really appreciate all the support that she has given me all these while =) I must be strong......I must not be scared.......no matter what comes in my way I must be brave and believe in myself. I can do it!!!
Went shopping with my sister on Tuesday and she treat me to yummy sushi after getting her first pay.......haha....greedy me........ ;p we didnt get any thing but I made two pairs of specs after trying on numerous pairs...haha...in the end I even had to apologize to the person.......thks for her patience cos she kept taking all the specs in the shop to let me try...and my sister for patiently waiting for me...haha...even though I know she does not like to wait......lol.......can't wait for my specs to be ready.............
Tuesday, 1 January 2008
It's a brand new year.....
Tuesday 1-1-2008 5.27pm
It's the start of a brand New Year. Hooray 2008!!! So many things to look forward to.
I miss him soooo much. Didnt see him online recently......especially during Christmas that time.....everywhere I turn, I see air force advertisment. Makes me miss him even more.........but i must learn to control my emotions.
Went Clarke Quay yesterday with a few friends.......have the urge to drink but I control myself. Took cranberry juice instead. The place was sooo happening, crowded and alive. Haha........
Let's welcome 2008 and have a wonderful new year =)
It's the start of a brand New Year. Hooray 2008!!! So many things to look forward to.
I miss him soooo much. Didnt see him online recently......especially during Christmas that time.....everywhere I turn, I see air force advertisment. Makes me miss him even more.........but i must learn to control my emotions.
Went Clarke Quay yesterday with a few friends.......have the urge to drink but I control myself. Took cranberry juice instead. The place was sooo happening, crowded and alive. Haha........
Let's welcome 2008 and have a wonderful new year =)
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