Sunday 24-2-2008 4.26pm
I hate this kind of feeling. are you avoiding me or are you really busy? Tears are flowing non-stop in my heart, and the pain is unbearable. Why do you have to make me feel this way. I love you yet hate you at the same time.....why do I have to suffer this kind of mental torture? I hate myself, why can't I understand you. My love for you is true......really but............I kept questioning myself.....is this all... a one sided affair on my part or are you avoiding the true? I do not have the answers to all this questions either do i think you will answer them. Sometimes I jus can't find the strength to move on cos love really hurts and I am soo scared. So many people are telling me to give up and move on..... but I can't....some say wait till he is back but I jus can't wait.......call me impatient or call me stupid..... but the goody me who do not know how to drink really wants to have a drinking session with my friends soon cos I jus wanna get drunk and not think anymore.......I know it's stupid of me and my cousin scolded me.........she says that it's not worth to do this over a guy.......what for....even if i am drunk, he is not there to see......neither does he knows.........but I jus do not know what to do........
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