Wednesday 10-12-2008 11.25pm
It's been more than a year since I got to know you.......fr seeing u at the MRT Station during the salsa trial class to becoming classmate and dancing with you.......all these have left a lasting memory in me.......fr a strangers to a person who I love and will think about everyday......I will never forget the memories we shared in class......our passion for salsa dancing......the comforting words you will say to me each time I get nervous about a certain dance step.......yr presence certainly makes dancing more enjoyable...........then u got posted overseas........and that was when our contacts got lesser and lesser.........or isit what I have said to u? But I was jus trying to get my feelings known to u......maybe I shouldn't have.....maybe I should jus keep it to myself.....could that have been better?I LOVE you and I REALLY do.......is that wrong? Now I am trying to live with this pain........this pain that's gonna stay in my heart no matter what I am going to do or say.....nothing is gonna change the situation I guess......this is the pain that one can feel truly when one has true deep feelings for the other party..........love hurts...........I learn to let go but each time I always failed......jus when I think I am starting to feel numb the feeling will come back stronger than what I expected........is this what I am going to live with for the rest of my life......I need someone to come save me out of this situation......but who can.........maybe someone who my love for him will be stronger than what I have towards you.......but where is this him............I am tired...........very tired and confused each time I think abt this.......they say time will heal all wounds but what abt the scars..............
Wednesday, 10 December 2008
Thursday, 23 October 2008
vocal cord nodules
Thursday 23-10-2008 8.25pm
I went to a ENT specialist @ Mount Elizabeth Hospital last Sat. My ENT specialist who is an expert in voice disorder, diagnosed me with vocal cord nodules.
What are vocal cord nodules?
Vocal cord nodules are callous-like bumps on the vocal cords. They can form on one or both of the cords. They usually are located on the front 1/3 of the vocal cord, and range in size from a pinhead to a split pea. During normal speech, the vocal cords should press firmly together. However, if nodules are present the cords cannot close completely. Therefore, extra air escapes and the voice sounds hoarse and breathy as a result.
What causes vocal cord nodules?
Any one or more of the following can contribute to the development of vocal cord nodules:
1) Misuse of the voice
The use of an incorrect pitch, volume, or quality
Inadequate breath support
Excessive tension in the neck muscles when speaking
2) Abuse of the voice
Excessive shouting, screaming cheering or crying
Strained vocalizations (for example, sounds used to imitate animal noises or motors)
Excessive loud talking
Hard vocal attacks (starting words abruptly)
Excessive coughing or throat clearing
3) Other factors
Chronic (long standing) upper respiratory infections or allergies
Exposure to smoking
Reflux (stomach acid coming up the swallowing tube)
Endocrine or Hormonal imbalance
Fatigue
Allergies
Personality or general adjustment of the person
How do vocal cord nodules develop?
Vocal abuse and misuse cause the vocal cords to close with excessive force (i.e. bang together). This may result in the formation of vocal nodules at the point of maximum contact. As the nodules begin to form, a slight reddening can be noted on the margin of the cord. This reddening is soon followed by a localized swelling or thickening on the edge of the cord. Finally, a definite nodule or bump develops and becomes harder and more fibrotic with time, just like a callous can form on your hand if you use a shovel without gloves.
Thus I had to go for voice therapy during the sch holidays. I hope that will help and I really wish that my voice will be back to it's original form soon but at the rate that the children behave.....haiz....I think my voice will only get worst........trying not to shout in class but YES!!!! it is very difficult........kids are really naughty rascals...............and they DO NOT LISTEN!!! Occupational Hazard.............it really is as according to the doctor is a common problem in teachers.........haiz.......this is what I get in return for my passion...............What can I do..............the doctor says for this problem to heal, other than the therapy class, a lot depends on the patient themselves.
Oh yes, my DPT course is starting soon.....looking forward to it but at the same time a bit worried about coping with work and course.........just can only say I will do my best and take one step at a time.
I went to a ENT specialist @ Mount Elizabeth Hospital last Sat. My ENT specialist who is an expert in voice disorder, diagnosed me with vocal cord nodules.
What are vocal cord nodules?
Vocal cord nodules are callous-like bumps on the vocal cords. They can form on one or both of the cords. They usually are located on the front 1/3 of the vocal cord, and range in size from a pinhead to a split pea. During normal speech, the vocal cords should press firmly together. However, if nodules are present the cords cannot close completely. Therefore, extra air escapes and the voice sounds hoarse and breathy as a result.
What causes vocal cord nodules?
Any one or more of the following can contribute to the development of vocal cord nodules:
1) Misuse of the voice
The use of an incorrect pitch, volume, or quality
Inadequate breath support
Excessive tension in the neck muscles when speaking
2) Abuse of the voice
Excessive shouting, screaming cheering or crying
Strained vocalizations (for example, sounds used to imitate animal noises or motors)
Excessive loud talking
Hard vocal attacks (starting words abruptly)
Excessive coughing or throat clearing
3) Other factors
Chronic (long standing) upper respiratory infections or allergies
Exposure to smoking
Reflux (stomach acid coming up the swallowing tube)
Endocrine or Hormonal imbalance
Fatigue
Allergies
Personality or general adjustment of the person
How do vocal cord nodules develop?
Vocal abuse and misuse cause the vocal cords to close with excessive force (i.e. bang together). This may result in the formation of vocal nodules at the point of maximum contact. As the nodules begin to form, a slight reddening can be noted on the margin of the cord. This reddening is soon followed by a localized swelling or thickening on the edge of the cord. Finally, a definite nodule or bump develops and becomes harder and more fibrotic with time, just like a callous can form on your hand if you use a shovel without gloves.
Thus I had to go for voice therapy during the sch holidays. I hope that will help and I really wish that my voice will be back to it's original form soon but at the rate that the children behave.....haiz....I think my voice will only get worst........trying not to shout in class but YES!!!! it is very difficult........kids are really naughty rascals...............and they DO NOT LISTEN!!! Occupational Hazard.............it really is as according to the doctor is a common problem in teachers.........haiz.......this is what I get in return for my passion...............What can I do..............the doctor says for this problem to heal, other than the therapy class, a lot depends on the patient themselves.
Oh yes, my DPT course is starting soon.....looking forward to it but at the same time a bit worried about coping with work and course.........just can only say I will do my best and take one step at a time.
Saturday, 27 September 2008
busy....
Saturday 27-9-2008 6.44pm
It's been coming two months since I started my new job at the Kindergarten. I love the new job and is slowly getting used to it but I really have a lot of things to learn on the job. Colleagues are great, very helpful and kind. Will be starting my Diploma course in November, very excited as this is going to be a big milestone in my life but at the same time I am afraid that I can't cope. I keep telling myself not to think too much and just do my very best. With all the support I believe I can do it =) I know my parents are going to be there for me no matter what and it is their wish to see me get a Diploma so I am going to try doubly hard. I will push on no matter what.
Oh Yes!!! so excited that F1 is in town.......but I can only catch the race from the TV......cos tickets are too expensive. The sound is enough to sent me screaming so excitedly.......haha....... Hooray to Singapore for hosting the first F1 nite race!
It's been coming two months since I started my new job at the Kindergarten. I love the new job and is slowly getting used to it but I really have a lot of things to learn on the job. Colleagues are great, very helpful and kind. Will be starting my Diploma course in November, very excited as this is going to be a big milestone in my life but at the same time I am afraid that I can't cope. I keep telling myself not to think too much and just do my very best. With all the support I believe I can do it =) I know my parents are going to be there for me no matter what and it is their wish to see me get a Diploma so I am going to try doubly hard. I will push on no matter what.
Oh Yes!!! so excited that F1 is in town.......but I can only catch the race from the TV......cos tickets are too expensive. The sound is enough to sent me screaming so excitedly.......haha....... Hooray to Singapore for hosting the first F1 nite race!
Tuesday, 22 July 2008
me dyscalculia?
Tuesday 22-7-2008 4.30pm
Dyscalculia - difficulty in learning or comprehending mathematics.
I suspect I am dyscalculia...........cos I can never understand Maths..........well but I don't have any thing to prove that I suffer from dyscalculia...........calculations always stress me out and I have been failing my Maths since Pri 4..........but whatever it is I jus got to be positive.
Dyscalculia - difficulty in learning or comprehending mathematics.
I suspect I am dyscalculia...........cos I can never understand Maths..........well but I don't have any thing to prove that I suffer from dyscalculia...........calculations always stress me out and I have been failing my Maths since Pri 4..........but whatever it is I jus got to be positive.
Friday, 4 July 2008
not again......
Friday 4-7-2008 2.36pm
I quit my job again........HAIZ.........not again I hav been telling myself that........but really I can't cope with the car dealer job despite all the help my colleagues have been giving me.........really appreciate their kindness and helpfulness but I really really can't cope.......OMG!!! 3 jobs within less than 6 mths.........felt so useless and depressed recently........moody and emotionally very unstable.........have been crying alot but I jus can't control my emotions..........and I have been eating alot..........And I really mean ALOT ALOT........which is really not me........maybe it's my way of letting out ba so if it does help me feel better then why not.............hope to find a better more suitable job soon.......Gd luck to me =)
I quit my job again........HAIZ.........not again I hav been telling myself that........but really I can't cope with the car dealer job despite all the help my colleagues have been giving me.........really appreciate their kindness and helpfulness but I really really can't cope.......OMG!!! 3 jobs within less than 6 mths.........felt so useless and depressed recently........moody and emotionally very unstable.........have been crying alot but I jus can't control my emotions..........and I have been eating alot..........And I really mean ALOT ALOT........which is really not me........maybe it's my way of letting out ba so if it does help me feel better then why not.............hope to find a better more suitable job soon.......Gd luck to me =)
Friday, 27 June 2008
stressed out wif my new job
Friday 27-06-2008 12.05am
I started my new job as a sales advisor dealing with cars which are my ultimate passion and interest......nevertheless, this new job turns out to be so stressful......lots of things to learn......and i mean complicated stuff not simple easy things that we are talking abt here......meantime.....I can only push on and learn as much as I can.......even though I am stressed.....still do not know if this is the rite job for me but I gonna push my limit and go on till the last minute........the hours are long and I can only get 1 off day per week on a weekday.........so my one and only off day become sooooo precious........haha so many things to do but so little time..........wanting to meet so many friends but soooo little time............
went out with steve yesterday to watch 'kungfu panda' movie...........super nice and cute movie.......then Claire join us for salsa refresher class.........I need to go back for more refresher class to brush up on my dance skills. We went to Dragonfly to destress after that but didnt stay till very late as we had to work the next day...............nevertheless I really enjoy that destressing clubbing session.............hope to return to DF again in the near future =)
I started my new job as a sales advisor dealing with cars which are my ultimate passion and interest......nevertheless, this new job turns out to be so stressful......lots of things to learn......and i mean complicated stuff not simple easy things that we are talking abt here......meantime.....I can only push on and learn as much as I can.......even though I am stressed.....still do not know if this is the rite job for me but I gonna push my limit and go on till the last minute........the hours are long and I can only get 1 off day per week on a weekday.........so my one and only off day become sooooo precious........haha so many things to do but so little time..........wanting to meet so many friends but soooo little time............
went out with steve yesterday to watch 'kungfu panda' movie...........super nice and cute movie.......then Claire join us for salsa refresher class.........I need to go back for more refresher class to brush up on my dance skills. We went to Dragonfly to destress after that but didnt stay till very late as we had to work the next day...............nevertheless I really enjoy that destressing clubbing session.............hope to return to DF again in the near future =)
Tuesday, 10 June 2008
a trip back to my ex workplace
Tuesday 10-6-2008 8.38pm
I went back to my ex workplace today. So glad to see my colleagues and the children =) was very surprised that most of them could still recognize me...haha........and my baobei was sleeping when I went to see her....haha so no choice lor....got to wake her up.......I heard from my colleague cum best friend that my baobei argue with her classmate today about me being her darling....so sweet of her....haha.....and I even heard that a parent asked about me.......and even said that it's a pity that I have quit......well talk about that.....over lunch with my boss today she ask whether I have the intention to go back......I told her I wanna try out the car sales job first......but never the less it's really nice of her to offer me the position again......despite me resigning the job 3 months ago. I have a phobia of kids at the moment......haha....yup really children......I had have enough of them........pls oh pls......haha....I need a break from them........REALLY!!!
I went back to my ex workplace today. So glad to see my colleagues and the children =) was very surprised that most of them could still recognize me...haha........and my baobei was sleeping when I went to see her....haha so no choice lor....got to wake her up.......I heard from my colleague cum best friend that my baobei argue with her classmate today about me being her darling....so sweet of her....haha.....and I even heard that a parent asked about me.......and even said that it's a pity that I have quit......well talk about that.....over lunch with my boss today she ask whether I have the intention to go back......I told her I wanna try out the car sales job first......but never the less it's really nice of her to offer me the position again......despite me resigning the job 3 months ago. I have a phobia of kids at the moment......haha....yup really children......I had have enough of them........pls oh pls......haha....I need a break from them........REALLY!!!
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